Endless Adventures, use your imagination

I began these stories of our heroine Blanche, when I was in my teens and they continue on. In episode form, these short stories are intended to be rediculous, nonsensical and random. They are filled with inconsistencies, plots that lead nowhere, characters that materialize only to be shortlived and rules of this world that desolve. Enjoy.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Episode X- Blanche and Ozwald and the Utopian Paint Heist


As they walked Blanche became curious about the four Ping Sons, and began talking to them. “

So what are your names?” The eldest piped up and said “I am Pong.” “I am Wing.” Another son said “No. I am Wing, you are Sing.” “Well one of us is Wing and one of us is Sing.” The third Son said to Blanche. The fourth son said “And I am Alastair.”

“Wha… Alastair?” Said Blanche. “So what do you boys know about your Father and his old partner?” The ninjas began to look at her suspiciously and look back and forth at each other untrustingly. “Who is this woman and why is she talking to us?” They whispered.

“Oh this is going to be a long voyage.” Blanche said to Ozwald. Suddenly she noticed some movement in the bushes quite a ways back from them. “Ozwald, boys, I think we are being followed.” They hastened their pace to try to reach the outskirts of the city again. Blanche thought they might look into the history of Mr. Ping’s old paint store. After a few hours walk, passing the spaceship wreckage once more, they reached the city. Then after finding some old news clippings at the local library on the town as it was some years ago, Blanche visited the old run down paint store. The Six of them walked in, the little bell chimed as they entered. It was dark, “Hello? Is anyone here?” She yelled, hoping someone might be in the back. “Ok split up and look for clues, anything, why someone would want so badly to steal paint, and kill for it.”

The Ninjas looked very official, systematically scouring through shelves of merchandise hoping to find anything. Soon they all stopped, and began standing around, looking at the walls and corners as if they didn’t know what they were doing there. “Did you forget why we are here?” Blanche said.

BAM!!! An entire shelf came crashing down at the far end of the store, and there stood Ozwald looking very guilty. “What on earth Ozwald! Must you break everything? Do you want the whole city to know we are in…” She stopped, noticing a door in the wall that had been hidden, entirely blocked by the large shelf up against the wall. “Ozwald you’re a genius! Look.” Blanche began inspecting the door, as it had no knob, for any way it might open. Suddenly they heard the little bell ring, someone had just entered the front of the store! The Scatterbrained ninjas poised themselves, ready for a fight.

The floor began to creak with each slow footstep, then it would pause. Someone was obviously trying to conceal their presence there, but the old floor made it impossible. Blanche and the others could hear them getting closer, just around the corner now. Ok, when he comes around that shelf, get him boys, Blanche whispered ever so quietly.

Hiyah!!! They cried as they unleashed their ninja skills on the unknown tracker as he rounded the corner, a scream, followed by a loud crash amongst the struggle. “Wait! Stop!” Shouted Blanche. “Don’t hurt him, he is not the enemy. Dr. Word?” She said, as the four Ping boys held in suspension a distinguished looking man with a white lab coat, a salt and pepper beard, and an ivory pipe he had been smoking, protruding from his chapped lips. “Blanchy Baby! It is you, I wasn’t sure, I was sneaking in here because I wanted to warn you, you are being followed. But I wasn’t sure this was you, as it might have been them. You can’t be too careful ya know.”

“Wait, you mean you aren’t the one following me?” Asked Blanche. “Well I was following them following you. But I guess they got sidetracked because they obviously didn’t get here first. But they must be right behind us, we need to get out of here quick.”

“What’s going on? Who is this?” Said Ozwald. “No time for introductions now, we are in danger.” Blanche hurriedly added. “Look Doctor, if we can find a way to get through this door it may be a way to escape.” Blanche Said  “Well the material of this door, it’s very heavy, there must be some leverage somewhere, it’s probably preasure sensitive, look for a loose brick or something of the sort.” Said Doctor Word.

All of them began feeling around the wall for anything that felt out of place. “Oh! Here.” Pong pulled on a loose brick and it slid, rock sliding against rock, then there was a deep boom, behind the wall and the door began to open quite silently. They all ran in and the door closed behind them. It was very dark back there, and hard to tell how big the room was, you couldn’t even make out the corners or the walls, there was a dim green glow coming from a small table. They got closer and found a large glass bowl of water in the center, and several small vials nearby. Each vial was labeled with what looked like different places. Some of them farmiliar, like Paris, Istanbul, Berlin, Boise Idaho, Cambodia etc. Others they had never heard of, Plasticityland, candy valley, dinker Island. One curious vial had something scribbled out and written under it was Paradise. Ozwald picked it up. “I wonder what these are for?” Doctor Word said. “They seem to all be filled with dirt.” Blanche said.

 “Dirt? Well we need to figure something out soon, last I saw, Pungent Jim, the Terrible Rabbit Person, Scratch n’ Sniff, Harry Holchomb and the One with Olives on his fingers were not far behind you.” The Doctor said as he listened nervously for anything outside.  

“Maybe these vials do something.” Blanche said as she turned to see Ozwald fumbling with the “Paradise” vial, with its cork off. “Ozwald stop!” He jolted, dropping the vial right into the basin of water, the dirt spilling everywhere, instantly turning to murky muddy water on contact. Ozwald reacted trying to grab the vial out of the bowl. But as soon as his fingers broke the surface of the water he was violently sucked into the basin, being squeezed and stretched as if he was being sucked into a pinhole.

“Oh No!! Blanche screamed. “That idiot monkey! He must be dead.” Then they heard the faint sound of the front bell. “Ah! The door, the front door, they must have come here for something. Quick everyone put your hands in the water.” Doctor Word whispered anxiously. “What? No are you crazy? We don’t know what that was or where he went. He could be dead for all we know.” Blanche protested. “Well maybe, but maybe not, it may have just taken him to wherever this place is. Look the other vials are places. Either way we either risk it and maybe live, or if we stay here they will be dead for sure once they find us.” The Doctor said, then all at once they heard voices getting closer so they thrust their hands into the water and in a flash of green light all vanished in an instant.

Minutes later the dastardly criminals came through the door. “Now what was it we were supposed to get?” One large ugly one said, sucking on an olive on his pointer finger.

 “I told you, Harry sent us here for the vial that said ‘Paradise’ He wants to make some adjustments,” Said a gangly creepy looking fellow in a bunny costume. “Wait, it’s not here. Where is it? And why is the water all murky? Boss said no one uses this place but him.”

 “Well maybe it’s at the bottom,” Said the one with olives on his fingers. “Don’t touch it you fool, no one touch anything, till we tells the boss. Oh he is not going to be happy about this.”

Blanche began to come to, as light shone through her closed eyelids. She adjusted to the bright sun and slowly awoke to find herself lying on a white sand beach. Next to her were the Doctor and the scatterbrained Ninja’s. They too were just gaining consciousness. The sand was beautiful and glowing with the reflected sun, almost like glass crystals. It wasn’t course either, but soft to the touch. She looked up to find Ozwald entertaining himself with several beautifully colored flowers, while hanging from a perfect looking palm tree a bit up the shore. As they all stood to their feet they were taken aback at the awe inspiring scenery before them. The blue sky, crisp air with the snow-white sand all surrounded by the most colorful flowering trees and deep green bushes they had ever seen. “This place is a utopia,” all the Ping brothers said in unison. “I have never seen anything so breathtaking,” exclaimed Doctor Word. “I want to live here,” said Blanche.

They walked up the shore to where Ozwald was, and he ran to meet them. As they were walking and taking it all in Sing Ping tripped, being so mesmerized he wasn’t watching his footing. He caught himself by grabbing the branch of one of the trees, which tore under his weight. He fell with a thud, as they all stared at the exposed branch. Underneath the beautiful tree was what looked like plaster on some mold or scaffolding. It was a fake tree, just made to look beautiful on the outside.

 “What is all this?” said Blanche. “This is not real, just made to look real. Someone went to great lengths to make this look very appealing to whoever came here.” She said. “Oh don’t be silly Blanche, I highly doubt anyone has ever been here before. It’s scientifically improbable. It more likely evolved from small puddles of paint and bits of construction paper,” Said the Doctor. “ya your probably right,” Ozwald said.

Upon further inspection into the lovely forest behind the front of the island, they found a small pond. It was a beautiful placid lake that was as still as a mirror. It reflected all the trees and plants perfectly as though they were upside down duplicates. Wing Ping was thirsty so he stooped down to the edge of the pond to get a handful of the cool refreshing looking water. As he drank there arose a shadow which grew larger and larger and rose slowly toward the surface, “Look out Wing!” Alistair reached for him to pull his brother back, tossing him aside as a huge aquatic beast rose from the pond and grabbed him instead, pulling him under. “Alistair!!” They all shouted together. “What was that thing?” said Blanche. “Look over there, another one.” The Doctor yelled. On the other side of the lake arose another, what looked like a giant leach about the size of a rhinoceros. Then another, and another, they began emerging, up then back into the pond as fast as they came up, they would submerge again. “It’s a Seldrin,” said Ozwald. “How do you know that?” “Well look it has one of those little nametags on.” Ozwald pointed.

Sure enough it did, they all did those horrible monsterous beasts all had nametags and they all read ‘Hello My Name Is: Seldrin.’ “We have to do something to save Alistair,” Blanche insisted. “What do you suggest we do?” Asked Pong. Then Wing walked over to the edge of the pond and knelt down to get a drink. “Stop!” they all yelled, “What do you think you are doing? He had forgotten already. Suddenly a Seldrin lunged out of the water grabbing Wing with its giant suction mouth. They all grabbed his legs, pulling him back, as the Seldrin tried to suck on Wing’s head and pull him in. “He is trying to suck his brains out.” Doctor Word said.

Blanche jumped in the air with a war cry that rang through the lovely trees, kicking the Seldrin in the head with a flying roundhouse. It detached from Wing hurling them all backwards onto the shore. Blanche came falling down towards the water and another Seldrin surged from the water to try and engulf her. She landed on its back and held on for dear life as it thrashed about. She then got an idea. She started yelling “here I am, come get me, you Seldrin’s with your stupid name tags.” The Seldrin she was riding was still trying to rid himself of his unwelcome passenger. Then as they flopped close to shore 2 other Seldrin came up out of the water mouths wide open to latch on. They all had no eyes and seemed to sense body heat to be able to locate prey. At the last second she jumped off of the head of the one and onto land and the two other Seldrin stuck onto it, sucking its brain out. It let out a loud shrill roar as this was discomforting to have ones brain sucked out. Having no luck at retrieving Alistair the six of them were forced to run as fast as they could for the shore. Some driftwood had washed ashore which Blanched tied to one of the trees with a vine. She pulled a purple crayon from her pocket and upon it wrote these words:  “this is not a utopia turn back now,” In the hopes that it would be a deterrent for any future travelers who had the misfortunes of stumbling upon this bizzare island. ‘Danger to all who enter here,’ Ozwald wrote in the sand, Though that warning was washed away by a wave only seconds later.

“Wow, all this beautiful scenery has been placed here for the sole purpose of making this place look inviting. Just so we would go exploring and find that pond with those horrible things, and it cost Alistair his life. I think whoever went through all that trouble to steal that paint must have constructed this. It is all paper, paint and plaster. They made this whole world just to try and do us in.” Blanche exclaimed. The six of them gathered some logs and tied them together with twine. “We have to get off this little island now” said Doctor Word “I agree,” Said Pong. They all climbed aboard and went drifting off into the open ocean, in search of land, in search of more adventures, in search of evil-doers everywhere.

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